Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You took a bar mat shot.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
