What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
