Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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