For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize