Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
