awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I will pee on everything he values.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
