I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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