it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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