My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
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