I cannot find my penis.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
