Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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