very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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