Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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