Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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