Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
