it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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