guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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