I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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