All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Come on in and take your pants off
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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