I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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