I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
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