Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
