chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
im six kinds of drunk right now
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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