Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
