Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
