Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
How external is "for external use only"?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
