At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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