your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
