Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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