found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
