butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
