found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
