she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
