the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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