Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
