after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
