Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
