Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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