He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
