Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
