The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize