Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
