I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
