Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
