I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
