i jhust puked up my retainher.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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