I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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