saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
