i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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