bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
my sisters under your porch take her home
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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