ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
