..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
