i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
