So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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