Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She needs sedatives and a leash
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
