Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
