I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
