grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
