I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
