idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
